Lies Sting
by andree campbell
Summary: House and Cuddy's relationship in Season 7 hits a major pothole in the road to true love. Can House solve the dilemma of how to do his job well without sabotaging his relationship with his girlfriend who's his boss. Cuddy won't tolerate lies anywhere.
1. Chapter 1 Lies Sting

"_**Lies Sting.**_

_**(This story picks up where episode 7 of season 7 ended. Just a few ideas on how this situation between our favorite lovebirds could go until we learn for ourselves next Monday night!)**_

Cuddy hurried through the door of her office, leaving a speechless House standing alone in her wake. She had felt the constant burning weight of disappointment in her empty stomach ever since learning House had lied to her face. Cuddy could barely stand to look him in the eyes during their brief conversation since he come to her office. She needed to escape being in his presence. She felt too tired to deal with him now that he wasn't dying of 'the pox."

House had disappointed her before but the hurt hadn't been this extreme. Cuddy felt immensely let down by House's callous comments. _He always has to be right even when he's dead wrong! _Cuddy told herself angrily. _Let him be right all by himself. _ Cuddy tossed her head and held her chin up high. Her quick strides sounding loudly has her heels crashed against the hospital lobby's cold, polished floors.

House stood silently staring at the floor in Cuddy's office. Cuddy was angry and she had every right to be. He knew it and she knew it. Worse, he hadn't admitted his fault. Why? Why had he held back? Was he hoping she'd let him get away with it? She'd never let that happen before, so why had he hoped she'd let him off the hook? He _really was _an idiot. House gripped his cane tightly and took off after her.

Cuddy unlocked her car door and practically threw her briefcase bag into the passenger seat. She got in quickly and slammed her car door. She sighed deeply, slid the key into the ignition and pulled through the open parking space ahead of her car. She needed to get away from him. She needed to think.

House hustled as quickly as he could but just missed her as her car pulled out of the lot and drove past him. She didn't make eye contact. "Shit." House murmured to himself.

Dinner dishes were done and Cuddy was relaxing for a few minutes with Rachel in the living room. Cuddy reached for her cellphone certain it was House calling. She was right. She answered it quietly.

"So you are speaking to me?" House said playfully.

"What do you want, House?"

"I uh...feel bad about our conversation..." House began.

"Which one?" Cuddy said dryly. House paused and waited.

"You still mad at me?"

Cuddy stayed silent.

"Oh, c'mon. I told you a perfectly good lie to save a patient's life." House whined.

"We had this conversation already," Cuddy sounded drained. Normally when she was angry with him she'd turn into a raging tigress growling wickedly at him. This time there was none of that. She was practically lifeless, something rare. He hated this. She was hurt and it _was_ his fault. He knew she was right to feel hurt but he didn't want to admit it. "I'm tired, House. I really don't want to do this anymore..."

House panicked. "Wait! What?"

"I'm tired. I need to go..."

"Don't hang up!" House urged. Cuddy wasn't planning to but she was tired of waiting for him to catch on and do his part.

"If you don't have anything new to say, what's the point of this conversation?" Cuddy asked with less energy than he'd ever heard in her voice.

"I'm coming over," House stated.

"Why?"

"What do you mean, 'why'?" House stammered. "You're miserable and that makes me miserable." Cuddy swallowed but didn't really feel any better. "I'll be right there." House hung up, pocketed his cellphone and aimed his idling motorcycle into her driveway from across the street.

The doorbell rang not thirty seconds after Cuddy set her cellphone on the coffee table. She glanced at Rachel who hopped to her feet and ran to the front door. "I get it!" Cuddy got up tiredly and followed her daughter to the door. She peeked through the door's viewer and saw a worried House on the other side of the thick wooden door. Cuddy scooped Rachel up and sat her on her hip before opening the door.

House stood there taking in the view. Cuddy looked blank. Rachel looked excited. He would have preferred it the other way around. So this is what a hurt Cuddy looked like; a shell. No fire, no energy, no life.

"House!" Rachel squeaked loudly. House glanced at the little girl and cocked a small grin at the child's excitement.

"It's RugRat Rach!" House shot back and poked her lightly in the ribs, hoping the child's giggles would energize Cuddy's blank face into a small smile. It didn't work. Cuddy turned away and left him to follow her. Cuddy slide the child off her hip and watched the toddler race across the room to her toy pile where the little girl quickly found a stuffed dog to hold up and show House.

"Dawgie!" Rachel said enthusiastically. House nodded but quickly glanced back to Cuddy hoping to catch her eye. Cuddy had taken a seat on the couch before a half-empty cup of tea and a pile of files.

"You don't look happy to see me, Cuddles." House nudged.

"I'm just thrilled. Can't you tell?" Cuddy said dryly without taking her eyes off the file she opened and held in her lap.

"I get it. I fu...messed up and ..." House's voice trailed off. Cuddy glanced at him finally.

"Yes, you did. But we already established that."

"Actually, we didn't. You're mad at me because I did what I always do and that's lie to save a patient's life." House moved slowly towards Cuddy.

"Actually, we DID." Cuddy said firmly her eyes returning back to the all-important file in her hands. "You lied to me...twice." Cuddy continued. "You let me believe you were being honest with me and took me for a fool. That's what hurts."

House sat down next to Cuddy, reached over and took her hand in his. She looked at him. No smile, no expression, no words. She waited.

"You're not a fool, Cuddy." House swallowed.

"Then why?"

"I thought you'd ..."

"What?" Cuddy interrupted.

"You'd break up with me." House looked miserable. Cuddy pulled her hand out of his.

"For god's sakes, woman. Get mad! Yell at me! Slap me! Just do something!" House demanded

Cuddy looked down at her hands and remained quiet, thinking. "I'm not your mother, House."

"Well, I know that! It would be pretty sick if you were after all we've done sexually not to mention seriously impossible since you're younger than me," House joked to no avail and stopped speaking as Cuddy looked up with a fragile expression on her face.

"If I can't trust you..." Cuddy began but House cut her off.

"Don't even think of going 'there.' You _know _you can trust me."

"Just _not_ between 9am and 5pm weekdays." Cuddy noted flatly.

House felt his cheeks reddening at her words. She was right. He had intimated that.

"That doesn't work for me, House." Cuddy pulled her hand away and folded her arms across her chest. What he wouldn't do right now to have her open those arms to him again.

"You want me to be totally honest _all_ the time?" House asked.

"I want to be able to trust you and not have you lie to my face!" Cuddy sounded annoyed. At least there was some emotion returning to her voice. "If you'll lie to me at work, who knows what else you'll lie about. I need someone I can trust. I wanted that to be you but..."

"Whoa! Hold on, Cuddles. You don't sound like you want to forgive me."

"You haven't asked to be forgiven!" Cuddy shot back. "You act like I should just get over it! Like you've done nothing wrong!" Cuddy moved to stand up but House stopped her. Rachel stopped playing and stared at them.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lied to you." House said quickly but earnestly. Cuddy paused and stared at him.

"I don't need this drama, House. I mean it." Cuddy retorted.

"I'm really sorry I lied to you._ I_ mean it." House repeated. Cuddy relaxed a little at his words.

"This can't happen again," Cuddy said firmly.

"It won't."

"How can you be so sure? It's your _default _position," Cuddy pushed.

"I know." House held his breath. "I'm gonna mess up but you gotta know I don't mean to hurt you."

"_You_ gotta know this is a deal-breaker for me. If I can't trust you, I can't be with you." Cuddy said firmly. Her eyes still reflected the wounds. Rachel got up and walked over to her mother and began rubbing Cuddy's arm. House watched the little girl doing instinctively what he should have done. House reached over and rubbed Cuddy's other arm. A tiny smile darted around the corners of Cuddy's mouth.

"Are you still mad at me?"

Cuddy looked into House's worried face. "You hurt me."

"I know. I didn't mean to but I just...panicked." House glanced over to Rachel recalling his babysitting adventures with the toddler. "I've been doing that a lot lately."

Cuddy looked confused. "We've got to be honest with each other if this is going to work. You _have to_ be straight with me."

"Six years of doing just the opposite is hard to overturn overnight!" House hedged.

"You can't have all the perks and none of the work, House." Cuddy raised an eyebrow. "I know you can do this but_ you_ have to _want_ to."

Rachel watched their faces and reached up to pat House on the cheek comfortingly. House looked into the child's big trusting eyes and realized trust was there for the taking. He just had to reach out for it.

"You won't kill me or break up with me when I tell you things you don't want to hear?" House asked Rachel who cocked her head in confusion. Cuddy grinned at her daughter and reached over to turn House's face toward her own. "Rachel won't kill you but I will if you lie to me again."

"So I'm a dead man," House muttered. Cuddy sighed sadly.

"House, there are lies and then there are_ lies_. You know the difference and so do I."

House looked at Cuddy's unhappy face. "You mean white lies and..." He paused not sure how to define what he had done to her. Cuddy waited for him to figure it out, her lips pursed, a small frown between her delicate brows.

"...and whoppers." House admitted. Cuddy nodded. "I knew I was screwing this up but I had to save my patient and you demanded proof."

Cuddy glared at him. "Don't make this my fault."

"I'm not saying it was your fault, Cuddy, just that I had to work fast. You have no idea how much I struggled over this..." Cuddy looked suprised.

"And you did it anyway." Cuddy interjected. House looked down. "Then you lied about it to. my. face!"

"What was I supposed to do?" House sounded annoyed.

"_Talk _to me, you idiot!" Cuddy snapped.

"You'd have said no!" House snapped back. "I did it to protect you, to protect us!"

Cuddy laughed sarcastically, "protect me?"

"If I was wrong, _you_'d be in the clear. The hospital wouldn't be sued if you fired me for getting it wrong." House exclaimed. "_You_ wouldn't get blamed, _I _would."

"That's how your mind works?" Cuddy said in awe. "Only you can justify lying to me and still come out the hero!" House looked down in embarrassment.

"I'm not normal, you know that."

"Normal's over-rated." Cuddy said softly. House glanced up. Was she forgiving him?

"I get it, House. You believed you were doing the right thing. That I'd get over it." Cuddy paused. "It still doesn't explain why you let me believe you did the right thing and_ that's_ the lie that hurt the most. Why would you do that?" Rachel had left them alone on the couch after sensing the growing tension. She was sitting quietly on the floor by her pile of toys, studying the arguing couple with a worried look on her face. "I trusted you and you lied to me ...you let me believe a lie about_ us_."

"That's not what I meant...I just didn't want to make you mad at me."

"Since when?" Cuddy asked incredulously.

"Since I thought you'd dump me." House looked worried. Cuddy realized he was more of a kid making stupid connections between the wrong facts and his own fears. "Since I love you and I don't want you to be mad..."

"Shut up, House." House looked up at Cuddy.

"I'm not an idiot, House. If you at least try to explain things better, I _will _listen. Just don't make decisions for me, not about us anyway."

"That sounds like 'we' are still a 'we'?" House said hesitantly.

"Of course, you idiot, once you apologize."

"I did, already!"

"What, there's a limit to the number?" Cuddy groused.

"Noooo, fine. I'm sorry, really." House waited. "Look at me, I mean it. I'm sorry for being an idiot."

"And..."

"And I won't do it again. At least I will try not to do it again, but you have to remember I'm an idiot."

Cuddy nodded.

"How come you were ready to forgive me when you thought I was dying?" House pushed.

"If I recall correctly, I believe it was a famous diagnostician who once said 'almost dying changes nothing. Dying changes everything." Cuddy said flatly.

"So if I died of the pox, you'd have forgiven me?"

"Apparently. And since you you didn't die, we're back to the problem at hand. you now have the choices of screwing up again or not. You need to realize you have to grow up if you want to be in an adult relationship."

"I thought you didn't want to change me," House niggled.

"I don't want to change you, I just don't want to be your mother. Either I'm dating the _adult you_ or I'm not dating you at all."

"So you no longer appreciate my boyish charms?" House teased her. Cuddy rolled her eyes and glared at him.

"Don't sabotage us, House. I'm serious. Besides, there's a major difference between being an idiot and being immature," Cuddy reminded him.

"I'm not trying to sabotage us, I just ...I'm ..."

Cuddy sighed.

"I know, I know. But I am trying. This growing up thing doesn't happen over night," House answered.

"Actually that's exactly how it does happen," Cuddy said calmly. House nodded a little acknowledging the truth.

"Can I possibly make this up to you?"

Cuddy drew in a long breath, holding out her answer for an interminably long time to House.

"Possibly." Cuddy finally answered. House slid his arm around Cuddy's shoulder and pulled her closer to him as he reclined against the sofa and her. Cuddy felt herself giving way as she allowed her head to rest on his shoulder. His lips grazed her forehead lightly.

"Am I forgiven?"

"That depends."

"On what?"

"On what you do to make it up to me. And don't fall back on sex. This has to be more pleasant for me than it is for you."

"Oh-ho-ho-ho, ouch! You know you love it just as much as I do."

"Possibly but _you _don't get to enjoy making it up to me. This gets to be all about me!" Cuddy said slyly.

"More clinic duty?"

"Nope. This time it's personal." Cuddy said firmly.

"Foot rub? Right now?"

"That's your best idea?"

"No...but it's a start. Gimme," House reached for her feet. Cuddy lifted them and placed them onto his lap. He gently began stroking the tops of her feet before kneading the soles slowly."

"Ahhhh, that's good." Cuddy moaned. "But this isn't going to lead to sex, House." This time he rolled his eyes.

"Am I forgiven?" House watched her face closely. She had relaxed, her long eyelashes were more noticeable when her eyes were closed.

"I'll let you know. Don't stop." Cuddy said as she wiggled her foot more against his hands and snuggled against the arm of her couch and stretched her legs across his lap.

House smiled to himself. _That was close, _He told himself.

_**Readers: Should this story continue? Let me know your thoughts.**_


	2. Chapter 2 The power of flowers

**Lies Sting, ch. 2**

_**Thank you for the terrific feedback! I will definitely continue the story and see if I can't address some of the concerns some had about whether Cuddy was taking things too personally or not. It feels good to be back writing on my favorite subject now that a busy summer and fall are over. Thanks again for the wonderful comments and to those who've added this to their favorite stories list! How kind you are.**_

_****_

"So _you _actually apologized?" Wilson sounded incredulous as he shifted from foot to foot next to House's desk.

"Repeatedly," House answered. "What I don't get is why she expected?"

"Seriously? What are you, ten?" Wilson seemed annoyed. House glanced over at his second best friend across his desk.

"Like you never said something just to get back in a woman's pants!"

"That better not be why you did it." Wilson warned.

"It's not."

"Good." Wilson seemed relieved. "So why did you apologize...really?"

House hesitated. "It was important to her. She needed to hear it."

"Of course she did. You hurt her. AND you owed it to her. But judging by your attitude, you still don't think what you did was wrong, do you?" Wilson rolled his eyes. "God, what the hell's the matter with you, House? How can you not see you owed her an apology after lying to her face?"

"I didn't lie to her. Well, actually I did but I mean I lied to her in a workplace capacity, not a relationship capacity. There IS a difference!"

Wilson stood up abruptly. "Once you start sleeping with a woman, it changes everything. There _is_ no work dynamic _versus _relationship dynamic. They are one and the same."

"Seriously?" House looked confused. "Why?"

"Whaddya mean 'why'?" Wilson sputtered. "Its just the way it _is_."

"Well that doesn't make sense."

"Oh my god!" Wilson ithrew his hands up in the air. "Imagine for a moment Cuddy had done this to you...lied to your face over something involving work and then let you think she wasn't lying because of your relationship."

"With you so far," House reasoned.

"Are you that obtuse?"

"Apparently," House frowned. "What am I missing?"

"That_ you _fucked up, House. No matter how you try to justify it, you hurt her by betraying her trust in you!" Wilson was turning red in the face. "Did you or did you not let her think you were honest with her?"

"Well, yeah."

"And did she or did she not believe you were _now _actually being honest with her because you two are together?" Wilson demanded. The dawn was beginning to shine on House's brain.

"So...ohhhhh."

"Like I said before, when you sleep with a woman, it changes everything. You let her believe that being together was why you _weren't_ lying to her." Wilson looked satisfied.

House was silent. He began rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"What are you thinking?" Wilson asked worriedly.

"Anyone ever tell you you sound like a girlfriend?"

"Shut up. Answer me." Wilson was serious.

"I was thinking this relationship stuff is pretty complicated."

"Not really," Wilson said seriously. "Just be truthful. Don't treat it like a game or keep score. Just admit it when you're wrong which you'll find out is, like, at minimum, half the time. We're guys. We screw up. A lot. It's what we do."

"Maybe you do." House said cockily.

"If you hadn't screwed up, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"Touche." House acknowledge. "So now what?"

"That's up to you. Just make it up to her and then don't do it again. Ever."

"Lie?"

"He can be taught!" Wilson muttered as he headed for the door. "I'd recommend flowers. You know those things you get from an actual florist. That _you_ actually pay for. Something lush - not like the crap delivered to a hospital patient. Don't insult her again. She'll know if you just swiped flowers off a patient."

"Flower? That's your best idea?" House looked disappointed.

"It's what guys do when they're in the dog house," Wilson retorted. "Besides it gives her an excuse to talk to you, to thank you. You know."

"True," House answered as he picked up the phone receiver. "What color screams apology the best?"

"Think bigger, House. Lots of colors. Bright. Fragrant. Something she can't miss."

"Sounds expensive." House groused. "Fine. Colorful. I get it. What's the number of your florist?"

Without missing a beat, Wilson spit out a number without hesitation.

House grinned. "I just knew you'd have one memorized. Sounds like you've done this a lot."

"You have no idea." Wilson admitted. "And don't think you're going to get off that easily. It doesn't end there, you know."

"Oh for god's sake. What else do I have to do?"

"If you care about her, you'll talk to her. Set better ground rules and don't even think about lying to her again. She may be your boss but your boss is also your girlfriend. You lie to one, you've lied to both."

"Yeah, yeah. I get it. That works both ways, right?"

"How so?" Wilson cocked his head in confusion.

"Cuddy lies to me, she lies to her boyfriend, not just her employee." House said smugly.

"Lying isn't Cuddy's style," Wilson interjected.

"Everybody lies."

"Some more than others, House. Remember that. I'm late. Gotta go." Wilson left House sitting at his desk listening to the busy signal of the florist shop.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Coffee, skim milk, no sugar," Wilson announced as he entered Cuddy's office. "Just the way you like it."

"How thoughtful," Cuddy said with a smile on her face. "Thank you, Wilson, but it isn't going to affect your budget."

"Budgets are boring. I know they put_ me _to sleep," Wilson said after setting the coffee cups on her desk and settling into a chair in front of her desk. "How are you doing?"

Cuddy looked up to meet Wilson's eyes. "Fine. Why? What have you heard?"

Wilson blushed.

"Well, that didn't take long. What did he tell you?" Cuddy's smile vanished. Wilson smiled reassuringly.

"That he's an idiot."

"Nothing new there." Cuddy mumbled. Wilson nodded. "You think I'm being too sensitive about this?"

"Not at all. I'd be livid if Sam pulled that crap on me."

"Thanks, James." Cuddy relaxed a little in her chair and took a sip of the coffee. It smelled wonderful. Half the attraction to coffee was the aroma. The other half was the effect. The taste, not so much.

"He hates to admit it when he's wrong." Wilson added. "House thinks everything has to be logical and he'll go to the end of the earth to split hairs over semantics ..."

"I know," Cuddy interjected. "why did he let me believe he wasn't lying?"

"He was counting on you not finding out. I told him if he lied to you he'd have to face the repercussions personally. If he didn't lie to you, he'd have to face the facts professionally."

"When you put it like that, no wonder he lied to me," Cuddy frowned.

"Cuddy, you and I both know House lied because he thought he had to to save his patient."

"You're on _his_ side?"

"God, no. I'm just explaining House's behavior. That and the fact, I think he's afraid to disappoint you."

"Are you saying he's afraid of me?" Cuddy didn't like where this was going.

"Not of you, of _losing_ you." Wilson said softly.

"Oh." Cuddy paused. "So, I'm supposed to just get over it?"

"Not at all. House needs to learn, to ...grow up. He likes to think he knows everything but we're not talking about medicine. We're talking about matters of the heart. Where that's concerned, he's an idiot." Wilson explained.

"Lies sting." Cuddy stated.

"Of course they do, more so when its from someone you love."

Cuddy's eyes glanced away. She knew it was obvious to Wilson but just hearing it spoken made the hurt worsen. "He apologized."

"And..."

"And that's it. He apologized." Cuddy said flatly.

"So what's wrong?" Wilson seemed to sense Cuddy wasn't completely sold.

"I think he caved."

"That's good, right?" Wilson pursued.

"No. Not if he didn't mean it."

"He meant it, Cuddy." Wilson lied.

"How do you know?"

"We talked."

"And?"

"And, he feels like crap for hurting you. For lying to you. He knows its wrong. And I don't think he's going to lie again anytime soon."

"That's the sex talking," Cuddy said crossly.

"I thought you forgave him?" Wilson was definitely confused. Seemed just like old times when he ran interference for the couple before they were a couple.

"I did, but it still hurts." Cuddy admitted.

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh." Cuddy said mostly to herself. "So, about your budget."

"Call me when they arrive and I'll meet you in the lobby," House instructed. "And make sure they look amazing."

"Somebody in the doghouse?" The florist asked.

"Shut up." House hung up. He sat back and stared at the ceiling. He didn't get it. He knew he should understand this better but something was blocking him mentally. He knew what he had to do next and reached for the phone.

"I need to see you," House blurted out at the sound of Dr. Nolan's voice.

"Dr. House, how nice to hear from you. Something wrong?" Dr. Nolan's deep voice asked warmly.

"Yeah, any openings this week...like today?" House asked hopefully.

"What's wrong?"

"It's stupid, never mind," House was about to hang up.

"Wait, it must be important if you called me so hold on a minute. Let me check my schedule."

House waited nervously.

"I'm sorry but this week's full. What about tonight?"

"Where?" House said gratefully. Nolan and House worked out the logistics and agreed to meet at a steak restaurant off the highway halfway between Princeton and Mayfield.

House hung up the phone feeling immensely better. At least he had a plan and he knew if Dr. Nolan couldn't get him to understand his own behavior, no one could. Now to meet the florist downstairs.

"Ahhhh, my two favorite girls!" House announced as he burst into Cuddy's office. Wilson frowned at the dig.

"House, we're in a meeting. Now's not a good time," Cuddy warned.

"But I come bearing posies for my lady love," House said adorably nodding to the large floral arrangement he held out to her. "Proof of my undying affections and big fat apology."

Cuddy looked up and took in the sight. House stood there with an unsure expression, hope in his eyes and clearly seeking her approval. The flowers_ were_ fantastic. Peonies, her favorite, were nestled in between lillies, irises and a host of other small blooms. The arrangement was larger than a table lamp!

"Sweetums, this is heavy." House prompted.

Cuddy realized her mouth had dropped open. She stood up and came over to him and kissed him quickly on the mouth. "You didn't have to do this," Cuddy whispered.

"Yes, I did," House whispered back loudly enough that Wilson heard it. Wilson quickly threw him a look and House stuck out his tongue at Wilson. "I'm sorry and I want you to remember that every time you look at these." Cuddy smiled at him.

"That means a lot to me," Cuddy said.

"That's it, just a peck on the lips?" House pouted.

"I'm still here," Wilson said sarcastically.

"Good, hold these," House said as he held out the flower vase to Wilson to take. Wilson jumped up without thinking and took the vase only to have House hang his cane on Wilson's wrist before grabbing Cuddy and pulling her to him for a hot embrace and deep kiss. Wilson rolled his eyes and walked away to give them some privacy and placed the flowers on Cuddy's credenza. He peeked at the couple.

"House, let go!" Cuddy protested weakly. She was caught of guard by House's actions but secretly appreciated it. "Not in the office, remember?" Cuddy straightened her jacket and tucked her blouse in at the back of her waist.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not what you said last time!" House teased and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Cuddy smirked and reached up to wipe her lipstick off of House's lips.

Wilson faked a cough.

Cuddy glanced at Wilson and quickly dispatched House. "I call you."

"Awwww, can't I just wait here til your little meeting is over? I'll just lay on the couch, you'll never even know I'm here. Just me and my pup tent." Cuddy quickly glanced at House's zipper.

"Made you look!" House teased. Cuddy blushed at the decent bulge in his pants.

"How about the clinic?" Cuddy suggested.

"How about it?" House replied. Cuddy stared at him with her eyebrows raised. "Fine. The clinic it is. Just call me when this boring meeting is over and me and the 'pup'" House gestured to his crotch, "... will be here pronto!" Cuddy shook her head disapprovingly.

"Cane!" House demanded without tearing his eyes off Cuddy's lovely face. He held his hand out expectantly.

Wilson walked it over and handed it to House. "Here you go, it'll hide the 'pup.'"

"The nurses are use to me having a boner when I leave Cuddy's office," House quipped.

Cuddy's mouth dropped open. "Good bye, House!"

"I'm going, I'm going." House said with a sparkle in his eye as he headed to the door.

"And thank you again for the flowers," Cuddy added.

House turned and smiled. "You're welcome, hot stuff." Cuddy couldn't help herself from smiling at him.

Wilson fake coughed again. Cuddy quickly reacted. "Right, budgets. Okay!" She returned to her seat and Wilson sat down.

"That was sweet," Wilson murmured.

"It was, wasn't it," Cuddy replied without looking at him. "Did you pick out the flowers for him, too?"

Wilson's mouth dropped open. "What? No!" He looked at her sheepishly. "That, he did all by himself."

Cuddy nodded knowingly. "He did good."

"Peonies, I wouldn't have thought of that."

"They're my favorites."

"Lucky guess or did he know?" Wilson asked.

"He knows." Cuddy smiled as she began studying the budget spreadsheets on her desk.

_**I hope House doesn't mess things up on the show between himself and Cuddy. Dr. Nolan would be a good go-to guy for House on matters of the heart and maturity and avoiding self-sabotage. Wonder if the writers will bring Andre Brauer back now and then. I miss him and the great conversations between Nolan and House. Let me know if you like or dislike the direction of this story. Your feedback absolutely makes my day!**_


	3. Chapter 3 Omissions aren't lies

""**Lies Sting, ch. 3Greg**

_**Using bits and pieces of the episode S.7 Ep.8 Small Sacrifices. This happened after the wedding of the colleague in that episode.**_

_****_

"So _you _actually apologized?" Dr. Nolan asked midway through his meal at the steak house. He sat across the table from House, their dinners still steaming from the grill.

"You don't have to act so surprised about it," House groused.

"I didn't mean it like that, I just meant to clarify." Nolan said kindly.

"Right," House mumbled with a cut of New York strip headed to his mouth.

"As I understand the situation, you told Cuddy a lie and let her believe you weren't lying because of the relationship.

"Technically, I lied to Cuddy about a patient so I could save his life. There _wasn't_ time to _not_ lie and _still _save the guy's life," House admitted.

"Don't you think that was manipulative?"

"Well, yeah. That was the point."

"So? I mean that's not unusual in your relationship, right?"

"Well, there's more. I kinda lied again to her when she told me she was happy I didn't lie to her about the patient."

"So you lied to her _twice_?" Nolan stopped his fork midway to his mouth. "Sounds like you had the chance to come clean. Why didn't you tell her then?"

"I ...I...didn't want her to know I lied."

Nolan leaned forward in his seat. " But you had the perfect opportunity to explain yourself but you didn't. Why? I thought it was part and parcel of your work relationship with your boss. You lie. You get caught. Patients live and all is forgiven."

"Exactly!" House grinned. "That's how it's always been but then things changed..."

"Because you two are seeing each other privately. Sleeping together, I presume?" Nolan added.

"Well isn't that the point of the euphemism "seeing each other privately? Seeing each other's privates?" House couldn't help himself sometimes. Nolan shook his head a little but grinned.

"I suppose so." Nolan paused. House glanced up to study the psychiatrist's face.

"I take it you got caught lying? Cuddy found out."

"Well, I certainly didn't confess."

"And?"

"She acted hurt."

"I'm sure she wasn't acting." Nolan pointed out. "Sounds like she felt betrayed, I would imagine." Nolan raised his eyebrows.

"Apparently." House said before slugging some ice tea thirstily.

"You know, women are very smart. Very smart and very sensitive. When you really think about it, sex is somewhat of an invasion beyond the physical for most women. Once they let you 'in' they expect you to take things seriously and that includes being honest."

"That's not as easy as it sounds." House acknowledged.

"I wouldn't advise lying to your girlfriend anymore if you want to the relationship to continue - which I think we both know you do."

House looked up glumly. "I do but I am seriously screwed if I have to be honest 24/7. It interferes with my job, my patients." House explained the facts of the Joe Dugan blood test and the candidate's role in locating the Hepatitus strain.

"Then tell her but be prepared for the fall out."

"That's what Wilson said."

"So what's more important to you? Cuddy or your patients?"

"That's not fair! Why do I have to choose?" House demanded. "I love Cuddy but I _am _a doctor and I _can't not_ do everything to get them better."

"Do you think Cuddy was being unfair?"

"Well...yeah. I mean she knows I lie to manipulate things so I can cure my patients. Now she's suddenly upset that I lied to her."

"You also lie to avoid dealing with people." Nolan added. "If I understand the scenario clearly, you did lie to her, not once but twice."

House looked surprised.

"Oh, c'mon, Greg. You lied to her about test and then when she came to see you and thank you for not lying to her, you froze up when you could have confessed. Instead, you let her believe you weren't lying to her anymore because you two were in a relationship. Did I get that right?"

House continued staring at the doctor. He was cornered into admitting it not just to his psychiatrist but to himself.

"Yeah."

"So this apology. Did you mean it?"

House looked away. "I meant it. I never meant to hurt her or betray her. It just came out that way. What I don't get is _why _Cuddy _needed_ an apology." House admitted.

"Hold on. You don't understand why? or You don't understand why _you_ didn't want to apologize?" Nolan attempted to clarify.

"Well, since you put it that way...uh, both," House had run out of ice tea and was trying to catch the waitress's eye and avoid Nolan's stare.

"What did Wilson say?"

"He told me if I lied to Cuddy I'd have to face the personal consequences. If I didn't lie to her, I'd have to face the professional consequences - i.e. a very likely dead patient.

"I see," Nolan said flatly.

"What?" House asked.

"When you put it that way, it all makes sense you'd lie to Cuddy."

"Of course it does!"

"But Wilson did point out there would be hell to pay with your girlfriend."

"Right. And I weighed it very carefully before making the decision to lie."

"So, you knew Cuddy would be upset when she found out but instead you let her continue believing you were being honest. Why did you lie to Cuddy afterward when you had a chance to come clean and let her know?"

House stared at Nolan for what seemed to be a long time before speaking. "I didn't want to disappoint her. She seemed so happy that I just couldn't do it."

"But she found out anyway and she _was_ unhappy, disappointed and hurt." Nolan sipped his ice tea and paused before continuing. "What confuses you about this?"

"Didn't we cover this already?" House deflected lamely. "Cuddy knows I routinely lie to save patients! End-run her constantly. What's so different about this time?" House was on edge.

"Uh, your personal relationship for one thing," Nolan said dryly. "Relationships are built on trust and if she can't trust you, she's either going to be very unhappy or very gone."

"Well, I told her I wouldn't lie to her again when I apologized," House said quickly.

"Which was very likely another lie, given your modus operandi at the hospital."

"Look, this personal relationship stuff is complicated enough! Throw in that I'm sleeping with my boss and it makes it impossible to do things right without it affecting my job ...my patients."

"Sounds to me like you and Cuddy need to talk this through. You need to let her know the only reason you'd ever lie to her is to save a patient. Then you have to stick to that."

"This isn't helping," House fumed. "Besides, I caught her in a lie!"

"Really?" Dr. Nolan watched House closely. "Are we talking big lie or little white lie?" Nolan cajoled.

"By little white lie does that mean you think big lies are 'black?'" House teased. "What is it with you black guys always dragging race into everything."

Dr. Nolan rolled his eyes at House's need to deflect on what was a tough topic for House to discuss.

"Well, which was it?"

"A big ole black whopper."

"How so?"

"Cuddy was married before."

"Interesting."

"I know! She never mentioned it, like, ever!"

"So how is it a lie exactly?" Nolan asked.

"I lead her down the path and sure as hell, she lied about it to my face."

"You manipulated her into lying?"

"I mentioned something at the wedding and one thing led to another in the conversation."

Nolan was intrigued. "What did you 'mention'?"

"We were watching the bride and groom dancing at the reception and I asked Cuddy about the bride's dress - which was purple by the way - and asked her what she imagined her wedding dress would look like in so many words."

"Interesting. So _you_ brought it up to see if _she'd _bring it up?"

"You're sooo on to me!" House said sarcastically. "Cuddy said she always liked the idea of a white dress. So, I pointed out its usually reserved for young brides getting married for the first time and she said even though she wasn't young anymore, it was still going to be her first time."

"Which was a lie." Nolan stated.

"Exactly." House enunciated carefully. "And I told her so."

"Why do you think she lied about being married before?"

"I don't know. She didn't say." House replied. "She just walked away."

"Did she say anything?"

"'Yeah. 'Well-played'." House answered making air quotes with his hands.

"Interesting."

"Stop saying that."

"It sounds like Cuddy felt as if you played her, Greg."

"I guess I did but I proved to her she lied to me and told her I forgave_ her._"

"You expected that little exercise to cause Cuddy forgive you?"

"It would have been the logical thing to do," House said

"And did she?"

"No."

"Seems like she didn't appreciate the logic." Nolan said flatly. " So when did you apologize?"

"After that."

"Did you ask her about the former marriage?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I kinda got the feeling she didn't want to talk about it."

"Glad to hear you didn't push. That's progress, Greg."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"Besides, there's time for finding out the juicy details later," House's eyes twinkled.

"Trend gently. She obviously isn't proud of it." Nolan advised. "So explain to me, Greg, how exactly Cuddy being married once before has anything to do with your situation?"

"I thought it proved my point that everyone lies. Even Cuddy."

"Have you ever asked her if she was married before?

"No. I also never asked her if she was on the grassy knoll when Kennedy was assassinated."

"You think she's holding out on you?" Nolan was intrigued at House's paranoia.

"Well, if she lied about this, maybe she's got other things she wants to hide from me."

"So that's what this is about," Nolan murmured to himself. "Hiding the truth for fear it will hurt the relationship.

House watched Nolan's every twitch and smirk.

"You realize there's a real difference between these two 'lies,' House." Nolan said louder making air quotes on the word lies.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you lied to her twice to let her think you were doing what she wanted. She lied to you by omission and when you forced her to address it, she lied to you to keep a secret."

"So how's that any different?"

"She wasn't covering up an earlier lie to you. There is a difference." Nolan pushed his cold plate away. "Besides, do you really think that was the best way to 'out' her...at a wedding, in public, instead of a private, intimate conversation just between the two of you?"

"No."

"Exactly. I think you could have handled your situation better instead of trying to make Cuddy feel guilty about needing the apology," Nolan teased gently, reeling in House's attention. "You could have tried explaining things better, communicating with her on a level that addresses the private and the public roles you're in."

"Like...?"

"Like explaining to her that your first lie was intended to protect Cuddy professionally from any fallout. That your second lie was about protecting yourself from her disappointment, but that you felt terrible for doing it." Nolan seemed a little too pleased with himself for House's tastes.

"You actually think that would work?"

"It would if those were the real reasons for lying," Nolan stated. "Were they?"

"I did it because I thought I had to and didn't want her to get mad at me."

"So you care what she thinks of you? You care how she feels?"

"Of course I do!"

"Did she forgive you?" Nolan prodded.

"I think so. She seems happier, but...why do I still feel like crap?" House wanted to know.

"Because you know what you did was wrong then and now. Trying to trap her in a lie so you could justify your lies was not the best way to fix it" Nolan explained. "I believe Cuddy's need to hear you apologize was in character for her - doing what she's always done with you and that's set boundaries. That's why she needed to hear you apologize to her. She doesn't want to be a push-over now that you're together."

House seemed to understand the point.

"So lets get to the root of why you didn't want to apologize after you were busted."

"Do we have to?"

"Hey, you called me, House. I presume you don't want to screw up this relationship. If that's still the case, lets examine your need to hide your mistakes from Cuddy."

"You make me sound whipped."

"Are you?"

"No! I just ...hell, I don't know what the hell I'm _suppose_ to do."

"Yes, you do. You know exactly what you're supposed to do. If you didn't you'd never have called me to discuss your guilt complex."

"Oh, now I have a _complex_?" House said sarcastically. "I don't think so. I just don't want to piss off my girlfriend when the rules need to bend."

"If I'm not mistaken, Cuddy's bent lots of rules for you in the past. Do you really think she's the root of the issue."

"No." House sounded glum.

"What do you think is the at the root, then?" Nolan waited.

"I don't want to lose her."

"Then the best way to keep her is to be honest with her. Don't hide things, don't lie about lying. Remember, its usually the cover-up and not the crime that gets you convicted. Nolan hesitated next. "Did you mean it when you apologized?"

"I did at the time."

"You don't, now?" Nolan was frowning.

"I feel like I lied_ again_ just to get her forgiveness."

"You sort of did. Here's the good news. This time you put her needs ahead of your own because you care about her. The important thing is to recognize that you_ did _apologize. because it was the right thing to do in this situation and that you're working to keep the relationship alive. That is great progress."

"Yeah but I lied again."

"Yes you did. You used the handy dandy little white lie, verrrry different from the big black whopper lies." Nolan grinned. "It's a nuance that you're starting to understand is necessary even if it doesn't seem 100% logical to you. I'm proud of you. You understood what was necessary and you put her needs above your own. That's what love's about."

"This is very confusing, when its okay to lie and when it's no."

"Lying isn't really the issue here. It's about trust." Nolan confirmed. "If you'll lie to get people to trust you and go along with your plans, you have to expect they'll get angry with you when they find out they can't trust you. If you want to gain the trust back, you have to admit you made mistakes. If you recognize your faults, they will too and very likely forgive you. That's how you earn the trust back."

"That's it?"

"Yeah. pretty much." Nolan waved to the waitress to place his dessert order.

xoxoxoxoxoxooxooxooooox

The drive home to Cuddy's place seemed to go quickly. House allowed himself to feel better before he began pondering why Cuddy would have gotten married, why it only lasted 6 days and why she never brought it up. Yes, the woman had her own secrets. That was something new and rather unexpected. Another puzzle to pursue and he just loved puzzles.

xoxoxoxox

_**I hope this version helps explain better to those who feel Cuddy was wrong to be upset with House. It's not the lies, it the trust that matters. Cuddy feels she can trust House now that he's apologized. If he doesn't abuse that trust, lets hope he does get to see Cuddy in that white dress REAL SOON! : ) **_

_**Hope you like this direction. I doubt we'll find out why Cuddy was married so briefly anytime soon on the show but I intend to speculate. Let me know your thoughts on why she would have quit on marriage after just six days. Lots of thoughts and ideas floating in my head. Appreciate your feedback before the next chapter comes.**_


End file.
